1. Tenders and Credibility
  2. Infinity of the word I’m not supposed to say loud
  3. Good divorce is better than a lousy marriage
  4. However a small line
  5. About the blind texts almost
  6. It is a paradisematic country
  7. The lights divided
  8. The coast of the Semantics
  9. Supplies it with the necessary
  10. Made open likeness
  11. She hasn’t been rewritten
  12. Dragged her into their agency
  13. Had grass morning
  14. Where they abused her
  15. Nothing the copy said could
  16. Heaven it in so upon so life
  17. Said could convince her and
  18. Around and return to its own
  19. Plants are noticed by me
  20. Simple and regular than
  21. Replenish itself
  22. Came from it would have been
  23. Pityful a rethoric ques
  24. If several languages coalesce
  25. When I hear the buzz
  26. Spirit gathered divided
  27. Cattle i green first good
  28. Pronunciation more common
  29. She reached the first hills
  30. To achieve this it would be necessary
  31. I neglect my talents
  32. She packed her seven versalia
  33. Appear she’d also seed
  34. Heaven and earth seem
  35. The blind texts it is an almost
  36. I should be incapable
  37. Evening be whose seasons
  38. Plants are noticed by me
  39. That it might be the mirror
  40. Don’t Walk On Our Grass
  41. Their pronunciation and their most
  42. Unknown plants are noticed
  43. Grammar resulting language
  44. It is a paradisematic country
  45. World among the stalks
  46. Tuesday Morning
  47. A Man Drowned In Memory
  48. Onboarding for New Hires – The time that makes or breaks them
  49. Short-term Hiring – A crisis or an opportunity?
  50. Strategic planning for maximum performance and ROI – How will your employees know, buy in and deliver
  51. Selection Interview – May the Best Candidate Join Your Organisation
  52. Oh, Jenny. Did Five Years Fly By?
  53. Then they are still using her
  54. Could refuse to pay expensive
  55. Could impress upon paper
  56. Morning Thoughts
  57. Her for their projects again
  58. Heaven and earth seem
  59. We Deserve Better
  60. Where it came from it
  61. Constitution
  62. When darkness overspreads
  63. Then she continued her way
  64. Theft on a Grand Scale
  65. My soul is the mirror
  66. Into the belt and made
  67. The breath of that universal love
  68. Your Business Objectives: Set Them, Meet Them, Beat Them
  69. Of Language and Love
  70. Remebering Tumusiime Rushegye
  71. Star and Billy
  72. Being Blocked By @KCCAUG, @KCCAED and the rest of KCCA
  73. Born of a Rock
  74. Anything and Nothing, Really
  75. Hire and Fire – Management Reality; How is staff turnover affecting the workplace
  76. No, I Don’t Believe In You
  77. Tenders
  78. The other day I drove through Zziru
  79. Advertising Wife
  80. Somewhat Strange
  81. Beware of this when you hire your next ad guru
  82. Creative Director – What Animal Is This?
  83. Advertising Scene in Uganda – Highlights
  84. It’s That Simple
  85. Passion, Motivation, Team Integration – How To Get People to Open Up, Style Up and Step Up
  86. First, Break All the Rules – What the World’s Greatest Managers Do Differently
  87. Business Model Generation
  88. Bold – How to Be Brave in Business and Win
  89. Thus Flied Away Life
  90. Facebook Friend Insist – Turned Bad
  91. I Am Vince
  92. Is Your Latest Recruit Fit For the Job At Hand
  93. Fishermen on Lake Victoria
  94. Unconfused Mind
  95. #CancerUG Alex Mulamba dies
  96. Amama’s Diction and People’s Funny Reactions
  97. #9 vs Obama Challenge
  98. The Ugandan Workforce – A Challenge to Employees and Managers Alike
  99. Sequence of seven in 140 characters
  100. Pesma bezimena – A Poem With No Name
  101. Things I Learnt from Pumpkin
  102. Understanding What Infidelity Does
  103. We are Developing World with Manhattan Prices
  104. In Love, Loving, Loved
  105. The War Is Real
  106. When Montenegro Declared War on Japan
  107. An Update on Mediation at Commercial Court, Closed Today
  108. What Clients Want From an Ad Agency?
  109. Time to rethink the things we do #CancerUG
  110. Rainy Season
  111. Why folding your trouser leg can bring misery of catastrophic proportions
  112. Gypsy-orange
  113. #CancerUG – simple thoughts but let us start
  114. Little Treasures, Rediscovered
  115. I’ll make you a deal.
  116. The days I left in the past
  117. Road to Home
  118. Loved by the Darkness, 1996
  119. A tribute to Rosemary and the legacy her passing has the opportunity to create
  120. Damn it!
  121. When it rains, it kills.
  122. Kao da ne znam – As if I don’t know
  123. The War is Real!
  124. Joan. Gone Too Soon.
  125. The Story With No End
  126. Inspired by Technology – My impressions of entries into 2014 ACIA Awards
  127. To The Pompous Little Dimwit
  128. Blood-green ……. Krvavo zeleno
  129. A message to my stupid girlfriend (or potentially at least half a dozen of them)
  130. Randomness of rain, when I least need it.
  131. Soul
  132. For Kelley
  133. Little Clicking Noises
  134. Walk Alone
  135. It is Grover Washington
  136. Angry
  137. Of The Desert
  138. When I Go To Sleep
  139. Never Fall In Love With A Liar
  140. In The Village Of My Ancestors – by Vasko Popa
Tuesday, September 17, 2019
  1. Tenders and Credibility
  2. Infinity of the word I’m not supposed to say loud
  3. Good divorce is better than a lousy marriage
  4. However a small line
  5. About the blind texts almost
  6. It is a paradisematic country
  7. The lights divided
  8. The coast of the Semantics
  9. Supplies it with the necessary
  10. Made open likeness
  11. She hasn’t been rewritten
  12. Dragged her into their agency
  13. Had grass morning
  14. Where they abused her
  15. Nothing the copy said could
  16. Heaven it in so upon so life
  17. Said could convince her and
  18. Around and return to its own
  19. Plants are noticed by me
  20. Simple and regular than
  21. Replenish itself
  22. Came from it would have been
  23. Pityful a rethoric ques
  24. If several languages coalesce
  25. When I hear the buzz
  26. Spirit gathered divided
  27. Cattle i green first good
  28. Pronunciation more common
  29. She reached the first hills
  30. To achieve this it would be necessary
  31. I neglect my talents
  32. She packed her seven versalia
  33. Appear she’d also seed
  34. Heaven and earth seem
  35. The blind texts it is an almost
  36. I should be incapable
  37. Evening be whose seasons
  38. Plants are noticed by me
  39. That it might be the mirror
  40. Don’t Walk On Our Grass
  41. Their pronunciation and their most
  42. Unknown plants are noticed
  43. Grammar resulting language
  44. It is a paradisematic country
  45. World among the stalks
  46. Tuesday Morning
  47. A Man Drowned In Memory
  48. Onboarding for New Hires – The time that makes or breaks them
  49. Short-term Hiring – A crisis or an opportunity?
  50. Strategic planning for maximum performance and ROI – How will your employees know, buy in and deliver
  51. Selection Interview – May the Best Candidate Join Your Organisation
  52. Oh, Jenny. Did Five Years Fly By?
  53. Then they are still using her
  54. Could refuse to pay expensive
  55. Could impress upon paper
  56. Morning Thoughts
  57. Her for their projects again
  58. Heaven and earth seem
  59. We Deserve Better
  60. Where it came from it
  61. Constitution
  62. When darkness overspreads
  63. Then she continued her way
  64. Theft on a Grand Scale
  65. My soul is the mirror
  66. Into the belt and made
  67. The breath of that universal love
  68. Your Business Objectives: Set Them, Meet Them, Beat Them
  69. Of Language and Love
  70. Remebering Tumusiime Rushegye
  71. Star and Billy
  72. Being Blocked By @KCCAUG, @KCCAED and the rest of KCCA
  73. Born of a Rock
  74. Anything and Nothing, Really
  75. Hire and Fire – Management Reality; How is staff turnover affecting the workplace
  76. No, I Don’t Believe In You
  77. Tenders
  78. The other day I drove through Zziru
  79. Advertising Wife
  80. Somewhat Strange
  81. Beware of this when you hire your next ad guru
  82. Creative Director – What Animal Is This?
  83. Advertising Scene in Uganda – Highlights
  84. It’s That Simple
  85. Passion, Motivation, Team Integration – How To Get People to Open Up, Style Up and Step Up
  86. First, Break All the Rules – What the World’s Greatest Managers Do Differently
  87. Business Model Generation
  88. Bold – How to Be Brave in Business and Win
  89. Thus Flied Away Life
  90. Facebook Friend Insist – Turned Bad
  91. I Am Vince
  92. Is Your Latest Recruit Fit For the Job At Hand
  93. Fishermen on Lake Victoria
  94. Unconfused Mind
  95. #CancerUG Alex Mulamba dies
  96. Amama’s Diction and People’s Funny Reactions
  97. #9 vs Obama Challenge
  98. The Ugandan Workforce – A Challenge to Employees and Managers Alike
  99. Sequence of seven in 140 characters
  100. Pesma bezimena – A Poem With No Name
  101. Things I Learnt from Pumpkin
  102. Understanding What Infidelity Does
  103. We are Developing World with Manhattan Prices
  104. In Love, Loving, Loved
  105. The War Is Real
  106. When Montenegro Declared War on Japan
  107. An Update on Mediation at Commercial Court, Closed Today
  108. What Clients Want From an Ad Agency?
  109. Time to rethink the things we do #CancerUG
  110. Rainy Season
  111. Why folding your trouser leg can bring misery of catastrophic proportions
  112. Gypsy-orange
  113. #CancerUG – simple thoughts but let us start
  114. Little Treasures, Rediscovered
  115. I’ll make you a deal.
  116. The days I left in the past
  117. Road to Home
  118. Loved by the Darkness, 1996
  119. A tribute to Rosemary and the legacy her passing has the opportunity to create
  120. Damn it!
  121. When it rains, it kills.
  122. Kao da ne znam – As if I don’t know
  123. The War is Real!
  124. Joan. Gone Too Soon.
  125. The Story With No End
  126. Inspired by Technology – My impressions of entries into 2014 ACIA Awards
  127. To The Pompous Little Dimwit
  128. Blood-green ……. Krvavo zeleno
  129. A message to my stupid girlfriend (or potentially at least half a dozen of them)
  130. Randomness of rain, when I least need it.
  131. Soul
  132. For Kelley
  133. Little Clicking Noises
  134. Walk Alone
  135. It is Grover Washington
  136. Angry
  137. Of The Desert
  138. When I Go To Sleep
  139. Never Fall In Love With A Liar
  140. In The Village Of My Ancestors – by Vasko Popa

I am a tormented man.

This has been going on for a while but it took me time to realize the extent of the torment I undergo daily, torment that is making me feel rather unwell and making me lose my confidence, too.

To explain, I make more than enough money and also make plenty to lose. Just the other day I lost a lawsuit completely framed against my business, with help of my own workers, and it was enough money to build some two hundred schools this country very much needs. But this is not the reason.

You can guess the reason is not that I am expanding the business in so many areas away from the core business; with plenty to worry about where everything can go wrong. And you are right, the reason for my torment is a woman, moreover a woman that is not even my own wife but someone elses at that.

I first saw her at a dinner not so long ago. I knew of her but I never paid attention. Why would I? My wife is drop-dead beautiful and we have a lovely two children, a boy and a girl, my angel who resembles my wife so much already, I fear for the lives of her suitors in not so far a future.

She is someone elses wife. I don’t quite understand why. I mean, I was looking for a woman that is embodiment of all perfection and I married her. I was happily married all this time, until I met this other one. When I felt that she is the exact woman that was made from my rib, if ever there was that possibility in creation, that she is all I ever wanted and that she puts a shadow over my past life, my past wife and my family, a shadow that claims her territory unconditionally and puts everyone dear to me in the far second plan, in their static and quiet place while she assumes the rule over my life.

It is bizarre that I even dare to think this way as I never exchanged more than a few words with her, even that only due to us being at a social function together where she did not say much.

But here I am, quiet and scared of my emotions and much more afraid of what she may feel as I know there is something on her mind and whatever it is, it is not silent.

She speaks to me in many different ways. There are the obvious ones; everyone is on social media today and so am I. Not because I am particularly social media savvy or excited by living my life on Twitter but because in the work I do, I cannot be seen as someone left behind by the same technology I try to sell to people.

Anyway, she is active on the social pages and perhaps I am reading into it what I want to read but it seems whatever she says is in some way directed at me.

She is subtle and clever. Not many can read into what she really says. But she is weaving a dangerous web around me. That I know, because the words she puts together are meaningless when put outside this context that is so clear to me.

She also speaks in sudden gushes of unexplained wind that comes literally out of nowhere. I could be sitting in my office with all the windows closed, in fact sealed, and airconditioning just barely working on low when she comes in and shuffles the few papers on my desk as I’m watching the absence of her and wondering how she does it.

And the thoughts she throws at me. They hit me like rocks and I wish she would be a bit gentler with these sudden thoughts that arrive into my mind and my body. She seems unable to choose the right moment for the right thought as I find myself suddenly smiling when I’m in the middle of a serious meeting, or going to the opposite extreme of being completely sad and silent in the middle of a sitcom comedy on TV.

She is also capable of being present within my space. I feel she is watching me or watching over me, I don’t quite understand how she does that but I see her eyes in front of me all the time. Almost like they are embedded on my own eyes so I’m seeing out while she is seeing in. If at all this makes any sense.

She is building this space coloured in the shades of fire and I am getting lost in its corners that reach far beyond what I ever thought my feelings could look like in their extreme limits.

I am lost in this space she creates for me. Each time she says something, and she makes sure she does nearly every day, I lose my edge, my concentration, and find myself daydreaming about this creature so strangely distant and aloof, so beautifully crafted and in my mind, so close to me.

I now know that she deliberately wakes me up at night. In that, she is powerful and yet very reserved. I don’t quite know what to read into it but I know she wakes me up.

It started without any awareness that she does it. I thought it’s the pressures of my job. The struggles I go through on a daily basis. So I would jump in bed at night, my wife stirring next to me. I would look around in the darkness slightly concerned that there is no reason to wake up because I can not remember any bad dream or a nightmare and, by the way, I had them in plenty but they have completely stopped.

I started going to bed with the awareness that I will wake up in the middle of the night and that I need to find the reason for it, now that my nightmares were completely absent. So I would try to concentrate on falling asleep while still keeping awake, if this makes any sense. I would close my eyes and stay in that space between just being quiet and being blessedly asleep, and this is exactly where the whirlwind would appear sometimes, shuffling the curtains on the windows or the net hanging off the four-poster.

This is how I knew it was her.

But what I did not know at the time is how she does it. So I learnt the painful way.

I got into the comfort of knowing that this other woman has a habit of coming to me to put me to sleep. I let go of my guard and let myself be handled by her tenderness and love, or so I imagined it to be. So I started closing my eyes thinking about her, hoping for getting to see her in my dreams and hoping to touch her, feel her, kiss her.

I did not realize she has the power of understanding my thoughts. I was just a man thinking very ordinary thoughts of any ordinary man. If there is a woman intriguing enough, she will fuel any man’s fantasy all the way. I took it lightly when I opened my semi-conscious dreamy mind to her. And she had stepped in as if she owns the place.

This is how she started hitting me with her thoughts. I would be cozying myself to sleep, thinking of how I’m holding her in my arms and whispering sweet nothings into her ear and boom! She would make me jump, hitting me in my ribs with her thought so clear: “How can you desire to hold me in the same bed where your wife sleeps?”

On other occasion, I was very conscious not to invite her into my arms but left her seated at the foot of the bed, her arms hugging her knees as she looked at me with a vague expression of interest in her eyes. I fell asleep but she hurled a thought onto my chest with all her might that made me jump: “Get up and see the moon right above your window, shining light on you, pay attention to irrelevant things!” So I did get up, look out and saw this magnificent view of rooftops covered in silver, shiny glitter and shadows that she used to escape me once again.

This is how she would hurt me, punish me for being insolent, selfish, careless, self-absorbed, assuming, but most of all, she would hurt me the most when I thought of her in a sexual way, when I let my fantasy inflame my body and when I called her to put out the fire. The thoughts she would hurl at me were the avalanche of accusations and hate, and I could see her infuriated face each time I woke up with my burning desire to make love to her and instead of her, start kissing my wife in the tormenting darkness of the night.

My wife was sporting a scarf this morning. She gets up early to take kids to school as I read the e-mails and watch the news. It looked to be a warm day already and I haven’t seen her with a scarf around her neck since the time we both studied in England. She looked so different, so glamorous and diva-like, she was glowing with all the fires and colours of that bright, flowery silk scarf I bought for her on one of my trips abroad.

“What’s with the scarf?”

She gave me her sweet, humble, almost child-like innocent look and she pulled it off her neck, to reveal a pale purple mark as she softly said: “Last night, you were possessed…”

But for many nights now, I have no memory of making love to my wife, or making love at all. That part of me does not exist in my mind. She takes everything, every single recollection away. I’m afraid I will go insane.

It was a chance encounter. I saw her.

Whether it was a chance encounter I actually don’t know. I suspect it was because she did not seem to be prepared to see me. She was surprised. Much more than me. For some reason she had let her guard down and I am sorry that she did, because now I want to be near her even more than before.

She was in a short dress, flat shoes, very unlike her. No makeup, just her red lipstick that actually turns her face into everything I ever want to be looking at.

In fact she tweeted she was heading for the bookshop. I knew she was going to be there, I had no doubt. I took long to leave the office and maybe that’s why she was upset. Maybe she stopped expecting me and went about her business collecting her new books, without any longer expecting to see me.

I walked in on her holding a heap of books in her arms. She looked small and plump, slightly overweight. Her arms were big and fat, holding the weight of the books. Her eyes were fierce and inflamed with anger. I could see it. It was tangible. She forced a smile of sorts. Not a word. It hurt.

I looked down on the phone in my hand, pretending I’m busy with some matter of consequence. But I felt stupid to miss the chance she had generously created for me: to meet her in a neutral place and have a go at a conversation, away from prying eyes (who hangs out at the bookshops nowadays?) and safe from any possibility of physical contact.

She wisely created the possibility and I stupidly blew it. I knew this was the cause of anger that was flaming in her eyes.

I learned to respect her wisdom. I pray for another chance.

I am a man with immense power. On paper. I make big decisions. I move big money. My decisions influence lives of millions of people. But she turned me into a powerless, weak, hopeless man. She destroyed me without ever even speaking to me.

This woman is everywhere I go. I look around and see her in everything. Not in faces of other women, no. In things. She lurks behind windows and walls, springs out of drawers, runs through the doors I open. I control myself most the time as I’m tempted to try and grab her by the arm and ask her why she is putting me through this terrible torment.

I look at my hands. On an ordinary day they used to hold so much power but right now they have nothing. My hands have nothing to offer, they are powerless. They flap hopelessly through the air, trying still to catch her, separated from my mind and working independently of the rest of my body, out of control.

I am only lucky that most of the time there is no one to see or understand this circus. But my driver certainly thinks I’m mad, trying hopelessly to catch the wind with my hands.

“Boss, you realize this is too much for you?”

“What?” I was shocked to hear this sentence come out of my driver’s mouth and my response certainly drew all the air out of my lungs. I gasped for it. Several times.

“Boss, what I mean is that you look unwell. You have gone quiet. You look sad. I am worried about you. This business will kill you if you continue like this.”

How I wished to hug him for caring about me. But hey, this is just not what the men do. I was also breathing some relief because he thinks it’s business that’s pressing me. But I decided to probe.

“How do you know it’s business that’s pressing me?”

“Boss, it can only be business or a woman. But your wife seems very happy so I’m sure it’s business. With all that money and responsibility, boss, your life is not easy. You need to find a way to relax.”

“Yes, Sam, I sure need to.” How far away from truth he was. Because the only way to release me from this spell I’m under is to get into the spell way deeper than this. Where everyone risk losing everything and we are not certain whether we’ll find what we were looking for.

The elevator door opens and she is inside. I step in. She smiles as I try to control my hands, not knowing whether I want to extend my hand in a handshake or grab hold of her, never to let her leave my arms again.

I smile awkwardly and stand across from her, saying nothing and doing nothing, and the silence is deafening.

“Do you believe in friendship at first sight?” She asks as she reaches for my hand and holds it, piercing my brain with the sharpness of her eyes.

“I submit to your will” is all I’m able to awkwardly say as the elevator reaches our destination, ground floor. She lets my hand go before the door opens.

“Then you must come home for lunch, I love cooking for my friends on Saturdays.”

All of a sudden I was hungry.

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