1. Tenders and Credibility
  2. Infinity of the word I’m not supposed to say loud
  3. Good divorce is better than a lousy marriage
  4. However a small line
  5. About the blind texts almost
  6. It is a paradisematic country
  7. The lights divided
  8. The coast of the Semantics
  9. Supplies it with the necessary
  10. Made open likeness
  11. She hasn’t been rewritten
  12. Dragged her into their agency
  13. Had grass morning
  14. Where they abused her
  15. Nothing the copy said could
  16. Heaven it in so upon so life
  17. Said could convince her and
  18. Around and return to its own
  19. Plants are noticed by me
  20. Simple and regular than
  21. Replenish itself
  22. Came from it would have been
  23. Pityful a rethoric ques
  24. If several languages coalesce
  25. When I hear the buzz
  26. Spirit gathered divided
  27. Cattle i green first good
  28. Pronunciation more common
  29. She reached the first hills
  30. To achieve this it would be necessary
  31. I neglect my talents
  32. She packed her seven versalia
  33. Appear she’d also seed
  34. Heaven and earth seem
  35. The blind texts it is an almost
  36. I should be incapable
  37. Evening be whose seasons
  38. Plants are noticed by me
  39. That it might be the mirror
  40. Don’t Walk On Our Grass
  41. Their pronunciation and their most
  42. Unknown plants are noticed
  43. Grammar resulting language
  44. It is a paradisematic country
  45. World among the stalks
  46. Tuesday Morning
  47. A Man Drowned In Memory
  48. Onboarding for New Hires – The time that makes or breaks them
  49. Short-term Hiring – A crisis or an opportunity?
  50. Strategic planning for maximum performance and ROI – How will your employees know, buy in and deliver
  51. Selection Interview – May the Best Candidate Join Your Organisation
  52. Oh, Jenny. Did Five Years Fly By?
  53. Then they are still using her
  54. Could refuse to pay expensive
  55. Could impress upon paper
  56. Morning Thoughts
  57. Her for their projects again
  58. Heaven and earth seem
  59. We Deserve Better
  60. Where it came from it
  61. Constitution
  62. When darkness overspreads
  63. Then she continued her way
  64. Theft on a Grand Scale
  65. My soul is the mirror
  66. Into the belt and made
  67. The breath of that universal love
  68. Your Business Objectives: Set Them, Meet Them, Beat Them
  69. Of Language and Love
  70. Remebering Tumusiime Rushegye
  71. Star and Billy
  72. Being Blocked By @KCCAUG, @KCCAED and the rest of KCCA
  73. Born of a Rock
  74. Anything and Nothing, Really
  75. Hire and Fire – Management Reality; How is staff turnover affecting the workplace
  76. No, I Don’t Believe In You
  77. Tenders
  78. The other day I drove through Zziru
  79. Advertising Wife
  80. Somewhat Strange
  81. Beware of this when you hire your next ad guru
  82. Creative Director – What Animal Is This?
  83. Advertising Scene in Uganda – Highlights
  84. It’s That Simple
  85. Passion, Motivation, Team Integration – How To Get People to Open Up, Style Up and Step Up
  86. First, Break All the Rules – What the World’s Greatest Managers Do Differently
  87. Business Model Generation
  88. Bold – How to Be Brave in Business and Win
  89. Thus Flied Away Life
  90. Facebook Friend Insist – Turned Bad
  91. I Am Vince
  92. Is Your Latest Recruit Fit For the Job At Hand
  93. Fishermen on Lake Victoria
  94. Unconfused Mind
  95. #CancerUG Alex Mulamba dies
  96. Amama’s Diction and People’s Funny Reactions
  97. #9 vs Obama Challenge
  98. The Ugandan Workforce – A Challenge to Employees and Managers Alike
  99. Sequence of seven in 140 characters
  100. Pesma bezimena – A Poem With No Name
  101. Things I Learnt from Pumpkin
  102. Understanding What Infidelity Does
  103. We are Developing World with Manhattan Prices
  104. In Love, Loving, Loved
  105. The War Is Real
  106. When Montenegro Declared War on Japan
  107. An Update on Mediation at Commercial Court, Closed Today
  108. What Clients Want From an Ad Agency?
  109. Time to rethink the things we do #CancerUG
  110. Rainy Season
  111. Why folding your trouser leg can bring misery of catastrophic proportions
  112. Gypsy-orange
  113. #CancerUG – simple thoughts but let us start
  114. Little Treasures, Rediscovered
  115. I’ll make you a deal.
  116. The days I left in the past
  117. Road to Home
  118. Loved by the Darkness, 1996
  119. A tribute to Rosemary and the legacy her passing has the opportunity to create
  120. Damn it!
  121. When it rains, it kills.
  122. Kao da ne znam – As if I don’t know
  123. The War is Real!
  124. Joan. Gone Too Soon.
  125. The Story With No End
  126. Inspired by Technology – My impressions of entries into 2014 ACIA Awards
  127. To The Pompous Little Dimwit
  128. Blood-green ……. Krvavo zeleno
  129. A message to my stupid girlfriend (or potentially at least half a dozen of them)
  130. Randomness of rain, when I least need it.
  131. Soul
  132. For Kelley
  133. Little Clicking Noises
  134. Walk Alone
  135. It is Grover Washington
  136. Angry
  137. Of The Desert
  138. When I Go To Sleep
  139. Never Fall In Love With A Liar
  140. In The Village Of My Ancestors – by Vasko Popa
Friday, April 26, 2019
  1. Tenders and Credibility
  2. Infinity of the word I’m not supposed to say loud
  3. Good divorce is better than a lousy marriage
  4. However a small line
  5. About the blind texts almost
  6. It is a paradisematic country
  7. The lights divided
  8. The coast of the Semantics
  9. Supplies it with the necessary
  10. Made open likeness
  11. She hasn’t been rewritten
  12. Dragged her into their agency
  13. Had grass morning
  14. Where they abused her
  15. Nothing the copy said could
  16. Heaven it in so upon so life
  17. Said could convince her and
  18. Around and return to its own
  19. Plants are noticed by me
  20. Simple and regular than
  21. Replenish itself
  22. Came from it would have been
  23. Pityful a rethoric ques
  24. If several languages coalesce
  25. When I hear the buzz
  26. Spirit gathered divided
  27. Cattle i green first good
  28. Pronunciation more common
  29. She reached the first hills
  30. To achieve this it would be necessary
  31. I neglect my talents
  32. She packed her seven versalia
  33. Appear she’d also seed
  34. Heaven and earth seem
  35. The blind texts it is an almost
  36. I should be incapable
  37. Evening be whose seasons
  38. Plants are noticed by me
  39. That it might be the mirror
  40. Don’t Walk On Our Grass
  41. Their pronunciation and their most
  42. Unknown plants are noticed
  43. Grammar resulting language
  44. It is a paradisematic country
  45. World among the stalks
  46. Tuesday Morning
  47. A Man Drowned In Memory
  48. Onboarding for New Hires – The time that makes or breaks them
  49. Short-term Hiring – A crisis or an opportunity?
  50. Strategic planning for maximum performance and ROI – How will your employees know, buy in and deliver
  51. Selection Interview – May the Best Candidate Join Your Organisation
  52. Oh, Jenny. Did Five Years Fly By?
  53. Then they are still using her
  54. Could refuse to pay expensive
  55. Could impress upon paper
  56. Morning Thoughts
  57. Her for their projects again
  58. Heaven and earth seem
  59. We Deserve Better
  60. Where it came from it
  61. Constitution
  62. When darkness overspreads
  63. Then she continued her way
  64. Theft on a Grand Scale
  65. My soul is the mirror
  66. Into the belt and made
  67. The breath of that universal love
  68. Your Business Objectives: Set Them, Meet Them, Beat Them
  69. Of Language and Love
  70. Remebering Tumusiime Rushegye
  71. Star and Billy
  72. Being Blocked By @KCCAUG, @KCCAED and the rest of KCCA
  73. Born of a Rock
  74. Anything and Nothing, Really
  75. Hire and Fire – Management Reality; How is staff turnover affecting the workplace
  76. No, I Don’t Believe In You
  77. Tenders
  78. The other day I drove through Zziru
  79. Advertising Wife
  80. Somewhat Strange
  81. Beware of this when you hire your next ad guru
  82. Creative Director – What Animal Is This?
  83. Advertising Scene in Uganda – Highlights
  84. It’s That Simple
  85. Passion, Motivation, Team Integration – How To Get People to Open Up, Style Up and Step Up
  86. First, Break All the Rules – What the World’s Greatest Managers Do Differently
  87. Business Model Generation
  88. Bold – How to Be Brave in Business and Win
  89. Thus Flied Away Life
  90. Facebook Friend Insist – Turned Bad
  91. I Am Vince
  92. Is Your Latest Recruit Fit For the Job At Hand
  93. Fishermen on Lake Victoria
  94. Unconfused Mind
  95. #CancerUG Alex Mulamba dies
  96. Amama’s Diction and People’s Funny Reactions
  97. #9 vs Obama Challenge
  98. The Ugandan Workforce – A Challenge to Employees and Managers Alike
  99. Sequence of seven in 140 characters
  100. Pesma bezimena – A Poem With No Name
  101. Things I Learnt from Pumpkin
  102. Understanding What Infidelity Does
  103. We are Developing World with Manhattan Prices
  104. In Love, Loving, Loved
  105. The War Is Real
  106. When Montenegro Declared War on Japan
  107. An Update on Mediation at Commercial Court, Closed Today
  108. What Clients Want From an Ad Agency?
  109. Time to rethink the things we do #CancerUG
  110. Rainy Season
  111. Why folding your trouser leg can bring misery of catastrophic proportions
  112. Gypsy-orange
  113. #CancerUG – simple thoughts but let us start
  114. Little Treasures, Rediscovered
  115. I’ll make you a deal.
  116. The days I left in the past
  117. Road to Home
  118. Loved by the Darkness, 1996
  119. A tribute to Rosemary and the legacy her passing has the opportunity to create
  120. Damn it!
  121. When it rains, it kills.
  122. Kao da ne znam – As if I don’t know
  123. The War is Real!
  124. Joan. Gone Too Soon.
  125. The Story With No End
  126. Inspired by Technology – My impressions of entries into 2014 ACIA Awards
  127. To The Pompous Little Dimwit
  128. Blood-green ……. Krvavo zeleno
  129. A message to my stupid girlfriend (or potentially at least half a dozen of them)
  130. Randomness of rain, when I least need it.
  131. Soul
  132. For Kelley
  133. Little Clicking Noises
  134. Walk Alone
  135. It is Grover Washington
  136. Angry
  137. Of The Desert
  138. When I Go To Sleep
  139. Never Fall In Love With A Liar
  140. In The Village Of My Ancestors – by Vasko Popa

There is a special breed of ad men in Uganda who I call the “self-proclaimed advertising gurus” because, truth be told, they hold little capacity for knowledge acquisition and even less capacity for proper knowledge processing and implementation. They are extremely damaging to their agencies and clients alike.

The individuals I’m describing here fit pretty much into the same scenario: a guy – it has to be a guy; little chubby or just skidding off the fitness line because of all after-work beers and tequila shots. Losing his eye-sight for not eating carrots as a kid, so glasses give a hint of sophisticated, quasi-intelligent look. Hair must be a bit of a mess. It’s not dreads because he thinks dreads will make him look gay but it’s those whatchamacallit short tangles that can be combed if there’s a serious client meeting in the offing. There will be a tragic story about his difficult childhood somewhere in the mix. He’ll tell you how he’s self-made orphan who lived on the streets and scavenged for life, paid for his own schooling and suffered immensely till he got his first break. Into advertising. And now – he owns the place.

He’s big and loud. He laughs loud and in such a way that everyone hears him, even the neighbours want to know what he’s laughing about, thirty times a day, so loudly that he stops everyone’s work in the tracks. Interestingly, people around him (after getting to know him) don’t laugh much – they are probably way beneath him on the intelligence scale so they don’t understand the humour and sarcasm – or they simply don’t have the time for his blunt, sexist and rude bullshit.

His talk is all about his own greatness, his success, his achievements. You may think the agency that employs this guy has just won national lottery in the US or Germany, he paints himself in colours of pure gold and his contribution to the agency, in his words, is every day worth his own weight in pure gold. But his success with clients is – without agency team’s push and support – pure talk and no signature on the dotted line.

Clients love him though – especially female clients. His sleazy ways of spilling his charm bring about unnecessary winds formed by batting of eyelashes in any girl-filled meeting room. He picks the ones to flirt with, with almost surgical precision. He doesn’t stop at flirting, situation permitting. He will go all the way but in a creepy, secretive way so no two girls know about each other and yet they may well be sharing the same office, in some cases even the same desk.

Everything is a game for him and – everyone is game. He will take his sweet time toying with his work, ‘researching’ as he says, ‘beefing it up’ but on the day of presentation you will be in deep shit if you don’t have an alternative presentation or if you didn’t have a gun on his head for the past 48 hours.

Girls are game, best game for him. Agency juniors, especially those assigned to him for coaching, freshly recruited, inferior to him, vulnerable and available. They laugh at his jokes after  a few drinks. They easily share of themselves – after all, he’s their mentor – and they easily end up in bed with him, filling their workdays with regret after the bliss is over (or as soon as he jumps at another one).

A child or two will happen as a consequence. A few rings will be placed on a few fingers. That “Diana” ring that you buy inflight on KQ is always handy; his wife never got one so even if she finds it in his pocket it will be her surprise gift. He carefully ensures that his girls never become friends with one another because they’d be staring at each others rings and wondering WTF.

He is pompous and self-absorbed. He knows it all. His way is the way to lead the agency ahead. He knows the best solutions, he knows what will work, he knows all the insights – with not a day of research, not a moment in the field with consumers, not a question to anyone. He gets it all on the internet. Including complete creative solutions to slap the Creative Director on the face with. All downloaded as it’s been implemented in other markets before. All future award-winning stuff.

He is the best commercial brain ever. He can add two and two and read his own payslip – he can, I assure you. But to viably distribute the budget of any sorts – including his own salary – is a trick. He is in the MDs office once every two months with requests for advance. Remember, he earns as much as all the agency juniors put together, but it’s never enough for his lavish lifestyle. When he gets a ‘no’ the manager is a total shit person, no matter what. And the world will know it because his loud mouth will be talking and building interesting stories to tell. His imagination will add meticulous detail to substantiate on the credibility of his story.

He has nothing nice to say about the people from his past. He severs all the ties. He poisons relationships. He takes premeditated steps to break people apart – without realising that the paths cross, slowly but generously, and people meet again and again. His world is himself, his stories and unfortunate people who believe him.

The day he leaves is the day everyone sighs a breath of relief. The day he steps into the competing agency is the day we don’t celebrate – we actually feel sorry for the competition. There is a reason he is not starting his own business – he wouldn’t know where to begin. It is also uniquely easier getting jobs by agency-hopping (some of the hot gurus are moving countries as well). Sure, he has a great CV because that probation of three months here and six months there all of a sudden becomes several years with managing all of the agency’s accounts, even the ones the agency never had. The CV that had huge gaps becomes a hot one. Pity managers in East Africa don’t call each other to check who is it they are employing.

But they eventually realise who their advertising guru is: lazy, alcohol-comatose, sleep-deprived, pompous slow-motion guy who comes to work each morning only to sleep off the crazy night before. And soon enough, the boot is on the ass.

The resort is now on doing something new, like starting a digital agency or becoming a social media guru, or writing a blog or – for a few wise ones – sober up, get hold of a job and actually do it well and shut up about their own greatness for a while. All of a sudden we have these specialists who know it all about the media so new that it is still appearing on the budgets of only about 5% of advertising clients. There’s all that expertise and knowledge you’d think you are hiring the whole starting Facebook team itself in this one single man. And the wheels keep turning. Clients keep buying into it, agencies keep getting burnt, life goes on.

He thrives and survives. Until less and less drinks are bought at bars, until all the jokes are told, until all true colours come out on the surface. For such people parade their principles on the highway while their character travels through the dark forests.

You will spot this character in many people around you. Don’t judge them too harshly as some can still be enlightened. Some were led down the wrong path by their mentors, the earlier gurus. Some just don’t know better but are willing to shape up. Assess the damage they can cause rather the value they can create and decide carefully, knowing what you want to get out of them. And get it first.

……………………

For avoidance of doubt, there are several people I personally worked with who shaped the character described above, it is not about one single person although that one was a particularly diligent and quick learner.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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